This is an extract from a response to a insurance litigation referral by Patrick, a lawyer and contributor at US legal blog, Popehat:

Dear Unnamed Insurance Company:

I appreciate the two subrogation referrals you sent to me this month, in which you asked me to recover blood money from teens who had attempted suicide in other people’s homes.  Unfortunately, I must decline to represent you in these matters.  I shall return the files under separate cover.

…

In each of these claims, you wish me to recover moneys spent on replacement of carpets, drywall, and subflooring, as each of these young men managed, somehow, to turn himself into a geyser of blood.

…

And yet, my first concern remains a strong one:  ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?  You want to sue a kid who tried to kill himself, and it wasn’t of the “cry for help – give me attention!” variety, but the OCEANS OF BLOOD SPRAYED ALL OVER THE HOUSE variety.

These clips give you the gist but we recommend you check out the full post entitled Don’t
at Popehat. It aptly demonstrates how one can master the art of being lawyerly, humane, forthright and funny all at the same time.