…and her new room-mate… with a little more tact than Nigel Farrage’s opener to Herman Van Rompuy.

AA: I knew it would never last: Hamish was foisted on Tarquin; Jane was thrown in with Dan; Alex and Liz were forced to cosy up and I was allocated a room all to myself; and not just any room either: a great, big corner room with floor to ceiling windows and a view of the Gherkin.

I have worked at CWS long enough to know that special treatment only means one thing: something bad is about to happen……

“Helen Bailey meet Celine Ivanova, Celine Ivanova, meet Helen Bailey; your new room mate.”

The tallest, thinnest woman with the longest hair I have ever seen is staring at me with a look which hovers somewhere between contempt and sympathy.

“Hello,” I venture, with a quick scowl at Veronica.

“How do you do.” She says this with such imperiousness, I don’t know whether to smile or curtsey.  “I see you have, already, selected a desk……”

“Er, yes, well, I have been here for a couple of weeks.”

“So I understand.”

Her voice makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

“Yes, well, anyway.  I didn’t know I would be having a new room mate.  It is a nice surprise,” I flash an accusatory look at Veronica.

“No, sorry about that,” she fusses, “It’s all been a bit crazy, with the move and everything.  Besides, we thought Alistair would have informed you.”

Is she mad?  He works on a strict: what they don’t know, they can’t complain about policy.   Still, it’s not Celine’s fault.

“Well, good to meet you Celine,” I beam, ” I’m sure we’ll have lots of fun together.”

She looks at me as if I have just suggested sharing needles.

Continue reading EU Expansion at Anonymous Assistant.