But when they harrass you constantly during boom time… files flowing onto the floor, inbox obliterated by urgent e-mails as the $hit rolls downhill (in your direction); unwanted calls amidst firefight. Not welcome.

If you read the last post and have even an ounce of insecurity about your looks, you might like recruiters even less than you did back in ‘07. In which case, this one’s for you. A tale of temptation from Bitter Lawyer’s Matthew Richardson who is Mergers & Acquisitions by day, Unethical & Amoral by moonlight (you get the picture) – All’s Fair in Lust and Recruiting

I was feeling particularly bored the other day. I had been working round-the-clock on a deal that was about to close. Hadn’t had sex in days. Hadn’t tasted a drop of booze in a week. And I think my favorite Mexican stripper, Luciana, was deported last weekend.

Desperate for a cheap thrill, I did something I rarely ever do. Even though I knew it was a mistake, I needed the rush. So last week, I said, “Screw it,” and returned the call of a random recruiter.

The recruiter’s voicemail sounded something like this: “Hey, Matthew, we spoke a while back about your career; you said you might be looking to explore your options. Found something that might be right up your alley. They’re looking for someone that fits your background, they have offices all over the world, top-notch deals, they’re in the Wall Street Journal all the time…competitive bonuses. Call me.”

When this particular recruiter says we spoke a while back, she’s right. In 2009, I thought I was getting shitcanned. But even now, in a more stable, post-review economy, her message sounded pretty amazing. Factor in recent reports about the booming lateral job market, and it sounds like a proposition you can’t refuse.

Until I really broke it down, that is. A microsecond of analysis reminded me that there’s another high-profile, multi-national firm looking for a guy like me on their team. Mine!

Let’s face it, as far as Big Firms go, it ain’t getting much better than where I am now. But when you’ve been stuck on a crappy deal long enough, you pretty much hate 100% of the people in your office, and it feels like there’s no end in sight. Swirling through my head in between fantasies of a weekend sex-cation in Guadalajara with Luciana, the recruiter’s bait of a happier life at new firm with better pay sounded tempting.

What really grabbed me though was the female voice leaving the message. It sounded hot. And young. And there was something mischievous about the way she said, “Call me.” So I had to return the call.

Turns out the voice belonged to a young, recent college graduate named Ashley—a name, in my experience, best associated with “morally casual.”

Continue reading All’s Fair in Lust and Recruiting at Bitter Lawyer