Anonymous Assistant: Double Billing
In our (brief) absence the Anonymous Assistant has been hard at work. So, if you missed out, here is a double billing…
First, Christmas may be a distant memory but the final splurge of work in the run up can make the initial January void seem particularly deflating. Here’s Santa’s Grotto to remind you.
I have spent the past month working fourteen hour days, to finish all the work which “must be completed before Christmas”, lest the world comes to an end……
Everyone else is in unspeakably good moods because it’s the Christmas Party. I hate all this false bonhomie and cheeriness. What’s so exciting about two weeks of socialising with colleagues and relatives you would rather cross the road to avoid?
But, it seems, I’m the only one in Grinch mood. Liz has decorated her office with tinsel, The Boss is sporting a festive tie and Alex is practising his dance moves in my office…..
“Oh What a Night, Late December, 2009….”
“Will you stop behaving like a teenager?” I snap.
“Oooooooooooh, someone’s in a bad mood!” he laughs, and continues. “It’s the Christmas Party – get with it! What a very special ti-i-me for me….”
“I have work to do.”
“No you don’t, you’re just in a bad mood cos Jane is leaving.”
“That is not why I am in a bad mood and she is not leaving.”
And if that’s not enough for you, there are always other reminders, Resolutions anyone:
“Have you made any New Year’s resolutions Jane?” Alex asks.
“Only to escape CWS,” she says, airily.
“I make that resolution every year,” I grumble, “but I’m still here.”
“That’s because you need to look beyond your office, Helen, ” she advises. “You’re too myopic.”
God she annoys me sometimes.
“You only decided to take up politics a month ago,” I point out.
“Yes, but I think it has been my vocation for years. I just needed a wake-up call to make me realise that.”
Most people would just be grateful for a promotion; Jane takes it as a cue to take over the world. But we don’t have time to discuss her global ambitions, because Liz appears, looking tanned and relaxed.
“Hey, welcome back!” Alex greets her. “How was the holiday?”
“Oh, really good, thanks. I feel like I’ve been away for eons.”
“Three and a half weeks is a long time.”
“Yeah,” Jane agrees, “It’s been ages since we saw Dan sticking his tongue down your throat.”
“She’s going to be a politician.”
“No she isn’t. She only decided to become an MP last week. Even with the best will in the world, she isn’t likely to get into Parliament at the next election, is she?”
“I wouldn’t bet against it.” he warns. “She’s already signed up as one of Cameron’s Cuties.”
January 18, 2010
more fine episodes.