There are certain learning curves that the average human goes through in life, learning to talk, learning to walk that kind of thing. By the time you reach the stage where you are working in a large law firm it would be reasonable to assume that you had mastered the basics. And even if you haven’t made it to the echelons of being a partner one would hope that you would be able to deal with ever so slightly more sophisticated things like dressing appropriately, turning up on time and using communal toilets.

Or not. If that were always the case then we would not be able to treat you to the likes of this delightful office-wide email sent by Robert Zuber, the executive director (no less) of US firm, Sheppard Mullin . The email quickly went from office-wide to nation-wide once in the capable hands of Above the Law :

A few weeks ago, someone urinated on the floor and two of the toilet seats in women’s room on the 43rd Floor. I reviewed the security tapes and interviewed those entering the restroom over the two hour stretch preceding the first report of the incident. Unfortunately, each person interviewed recalled seeing the mess but simply elected to use a clean toilet and did not report what they had seen. This is not the first time something like this has happened in a Sheppard Mullin women’s room. We had similar problem on the 41st Floor some time ago. Due to the vigilance of the ladies on 41, the perpetrator was identified and corrective active taken. That person is no longer with the Firm.

So peeing on the floor and toilet seats is a sackable offence at Sheppard Mullin but the story doesn’t end there; the email continues:

Earlier today, the perp struck again but this time the act was even more disgusting. Fortunately, with your help, this time around it will be much easier to identify the guilty party. When you use a restroom on any floor (Men’s or Women’s) and you notice ANYTHING wrong please report it to Julie Penny or me immediately. Because we now have security cameras in the halls, we can quickly identify everyone who entered the restroom before you and question them. One way or the other, we will identify the person who is doing this and get them professional help if necessary.

We dread to think what the new act entailed but it must have been pretty horrendous to warrant having the guilty party sectioned. The strange phenomenon of incapable adults is not new, the ‘crimwave’ of such incidents happening in the US has led to them even becoming the subject of satire .

Sheppard Mullin Potty Puddle Watch: Make sure to wipe the seat, ladies. [Above the Law]