August 24th in Anonymous Assistant, Comedy, Story by Editor .

Anonymous Assistant: Detective Stories

Re-joining Helen in her excitement at instructing a private detective; here we meet Mr Grindman in Detective Stories .

The Boss insists on meeting the prospective investigators.

“I know a thing or two about subterfuge,” he tells me.

“Is that how you made it to partnership?”

“Absolutely. You don’t make it to where I am without being devious Helen,” he smirks, as if remembering his former glories. “It’s dog-eat-dog out there; if you don’t out-wit the opposition, the opposition will out-wit you.”

I know that. Because the opposition always out-wits me.

“It’s …

Re-joining Helen in her excitement at instructing a private detective; here we meet Mr Grindman in Detective Stories .

The Boss insists on meeting the prospective investigators.

“I know a thing or two about subterfuge,” he tells me.

“Is that how you made it to partnership?”

“Absolutely. You don’t make it to where I am without being devious Helen,” he smirks, as if remembering his former glories. “It’s dog-eat-dog out there; if you don’t out-wit the opposition, the opposition will out-wit you.”

I know that.   Because the opposition always out-wits me.

“It’s a shame that the partnership has to be so Machiavellian,” I observe. “I don’t think it’s a very good business model; being sneaky and stabbing colleagues in the back.”

He looks at me in astonishment. “There couldn’t be a better business model: competition; entrepreneurship; ruthlessness! What better environment for nurturing those talents is there than a partnership?!”

If those are the talents you wish to nurture. None at all.   No wonder so many politicians are lawyers.

“What about team work?” I persist.

His face takes on an appalled, pained quality. “Team work?”

“Yes,” I nod. “Surely it is better to work with your colleagues than against them?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffs. “Why would I want to cosy up to the bunch of cretinous imbeciles I happen to share a partnership deed with?”

A fair point.   I wouldn’t fancy getting into bed with the likes of Barry or Malcolm either. But that’s not the point.

“For the good of the firm?” I offer.

“The good of the firm!” He roars, with laughter. “Do you think any of us really care about that? No! The firm is just a collection of like-minded individuals who happen to share an office.”

“We employees don’t see it like that.”

“And how do you employees see it?” he mocks.

“As one entity. We are not employed by individuals; we are employed by Craven Wiley & Sharpe. We think of CWS as a team.”"

He roars with laughter. “Wait til you reach partnership. You’ll soon see things differently!”